space-oddity's Diaryland Diary

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touchy touchy

after calling boyce to see if star wars (a new hope, episode 4, etc.) was in, mark and i went down to gemstone to pick it up. we went straight for the sci-fi section and were disappointed to see that there were no star wars tapes, just empty cover boxes.
. . . but boyce had said there were two copies in. . . but . . . but . . oh for fuck's sake. . . #@%##$^$@&* .. i frantically starting searching the entire "s" portion to the sci-fi section.
i felt someone watching me, and as i turned around, sure enough, a man stood their smirking. a customer,
and what did i just say???
was that "for fuck's sake" and a bunch of other curses and swears? was that coming out of my mouth?
sure was.
even when i'm not on duty, they're watching me. always watching me,
and i'm always doing that shit. dropping something and screaming, "fuck!" something like that... and some people just don't like those words. you'd think that you had just butchered their mother with a chainsaw, the way they look at you.
anyways, he recognized me of course and immediately attacked (as usual) and asked about the "five for five" special.
i was very helpful in my civilian attire, which goes to show you that, after a while, the uniform isn't an indication of ... well.. anything (i could walk that store for five hours straight and people would still ask if i worked there even though one would think that my name tag and wrinkled "movie gallery" shirt would be a dead giveaway).
meanwhile, i see people at walmart; i'm in the tampon aisle, and they ask, "what movies came out this week?"
they're always watching.

work work work.

and it's very strange . . because sometimes i see some of these people (customers) more than i see the people i live with, and i'll see someone walking down the street, and i'll have this urge to say, "hello," and ask how they're doing, but i don't really know them even though i saw them three times just last week.
just a customer.
what's really strange is to be introduced to a customer at a party or something.
"leslie, this is _blank_."
"hey, nice to meet you,"
but i already knew his name because i've see it on a computer screen every week for the past year and a half, but i have to pretend that he's a stranger and get on with the whole i'm-meeting-new-people bit.
i don't think i really like it most of the time. i'd rather them just stay customers.
the other night i was rounding the corner of the work station (i had just counted down my drawer and was bringing it back upstairs, about to clock-out and go home, etc), so i was rounding the station and standing there, leaning on the corner, was this customer who's been coming to the place for ages. he's a really nice man. middle-aged. he's a lawyer in town (and has actually helped one of my co-workers with a lawsuit), so we're all very familiar with him. he's one of those older guys who, when you look at him, you think that if he were twenty years younger... if only he were twenty years younger... you'd "do him" or whatever. he's just really gentle-like with a nice smile and not at all slimy like every good lawyer should be.
so...... so why was i so hysterical when he leaned over and put his arm around me and, as he squeezed my arm, looked into my eyes and said,"so how have you been?"
why? why?
because customers aren't supposed to touch me!!!
it blew my fucking mind, and though i wasn't showing it on the outside, i was completely thrown off track by that.
wtf, bill!?! don't you ever, ever touch me.

sorry, i have issues when it comes to touching. there are very rigid rules here.

3:38 am - Monday, Dec. 17, 2001

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