space-oddity's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- santory time wanting to write something beautiful, and not having it inside of me. listening to some of clay's bossanova music that i never listened to when we lived together. funny how i never deleted all of his countless files he added to my hard drive.. is it out of respect... that someday he may come by and need these things? i do not know. slowly i've deleted some things, like his bookmarks on my favorites list on explorer.. but i still have all of his work resumes (resum�s..... everything is made easier here), and the folder entitled "clay's supra sexy stuff" is still on my desktop. it just blends in. i don't even notice this. and only now, when i'm seven months into a new relationship (and do you even call this "new" when it's seven months[?]) only now do i even begin to think about this. why do i still have this? even after he told me to delete.. that he didn't need anything and that he wouldn't be coming by to do the cut and paste and copy. why? i don't know. i still have his microwave, you know. and i haven't spoken with him in about three months. and it's not that we even spoke. we just sent email. i've been seeing morrison long enough to see a movie in a theatre and to then see it later come out on dvd. why do i still have my ex's microwave? and why am i even babbling on about this? because someone gives me the impression that it's a let down when i don't update? because i've been drinking. because i've been drinking. i realize i probably don't drink any less or any more than any other 23-year-old, but good grief, sometimes i feel like i'm a borderline alcoholic. when things are getting rough. when i just don't know what to say. give me a drink. good god. make it santory time. 10:13 pm - 02.02.04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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