space-oddity's Diaryland Diary

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cigarettes

sooo please please please let me let me let me let me get what i want this time.

.

bah.

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sometimes the fact that about 75% of my friends smoke is enough to make me wanna jump off of a bridge.
cigarettes.
yuck.
and why is that whenever there's a non-smoker in a huddle of smokers, all of the smoke blows the way of the non-smoker? i can't stand that. i grew up with a chain smoking dad and grandparents that both smoke at least two packs a day, but when i was a kid, none of it seemed to bother me much.
b u t now, my goodness, i can't handle it. i feel sick to my stomach, and sometimes, like tonight, i actually feel like i'm about to throw up. sometimes i wish i had the type of friends that just wouldn't smoke around me - because, hey, it's me, and i don't appreciate cigarette smoke. but they're not like that, and well, i guess they should be able to smoke when they're around me, 'cos well.... i dunno.. i just feel bad demanding these things when it comes to good friends, but jesus, i felt ill tonight. as i sat at the table at ihop, i could barely eat, because the smell of smoke from the pre-dining cigarettes was still lingering in my nose, and then of course, after i was through eating, i just got a bunch more smoke to wash it all down.
cigarette before eating - cigarette after.
anyways, i wish they would just quit for health reasons, but i've tried that approach countless times, and they don't listen or give a damn.
so now i just wish they'd quit just because they care enough about me that they wouldn't want me to get sick because they're blowing cigarette smoke in my face and my stomach can't handle it.
but oh well, wishful thinking.
my tummy hurts.

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and wouldn't you know, i always fall in love with the ones that smoke.

4:22 a.m. - 2001-08-05

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