space-oddity's Diaryland Diary

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walking

there was a kid standing outside of our store today crying. it was busy inside, and though i had heard him out there, i didn't really look up from my work to see exactly what was going on. finally, after about 15 minutes of this insane crying, the little boy decided to come in the store. he had calmed down a little, but obviously still had tears streaming from his eyes. he said he couldn't find his daddy. i took him by the hand and asked him where he came from - i didn't know if he came from another store in the strip mall or if he was sitting in a car or what. he said he had been waiting in the car, so i asked him to go outside with me and show me where the car was. he pointed at this green car sitting right in front of our store, and with that i kind of figured that his dad was just inside. i led him back into the store, kind of knudging him on his back to get him to follow me. he was drenched with sweat; he must have been in that car for some time. i think he was scared to come with me, which is understandable. i mean, i'm a complete stranger to this kid. he started to cry again as i asked him what his dad looked like. he said he didn't know. i asked him if was tall or short. he said tall and old - but aren't all adults tall and old to a five-year-old? i pointed to this guy in the new release section, and the kid said it wasn't him. i looked around a little, and then i suddenly realized that guy was the only guy in the store; the rest were women. and then it hit me - shit, his dad was in the adult room. i tried to get the kid to stand outside the door while i went to look, and sure enough there was a guy standing in there, just kind of browsing around, taking his time.
i said, "do you have a son???"
he kind of looked up at me like i was stupid and said, "yeah, why??"
and then i went on to tell him that his son was outside the room crying and looking for him and that he thought he was lost - but what i really wanted to say was, "you fucking moron. how dare you leave your little boy in a car that wasn't even on with the air running on a 95 degree day - not to mention the fact that while your boy was outside worrying and crying and wondering where you were, you were here in a climate controlled environment staring at fucking porn, you idiot."
he finally went to his son, and as he came up to the counter to rent his porn and buy his kid a coke, he tried so hard to act like he hadn't done anything wrong. i just wanted to reach over the counter and slap the asshole.
poor kid.

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other than that little experience, my first day back to work was quite enjoyable - even though we did have about five gazillion movies to pull off the shelves for pvm sale. anyways, as i was leaving i got to see jennifer, who had all of these great stories to tell me. she just got back from a month's vacation in europe. i didn't get to hear all the good stuff 'cos i had to go, but i plan on hearing a lot more. i love it when people tell me about their trips and travels - makes for wishful thinking.

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my father called tonight, though i didn't get to talk to him. i was out.
finally.
he hasn't heard from me in about two months. this always happens. i all of a sudden decide that it's high time he starts pulling his weight, so i stop calling him. it never fails; every single time, it just ends up with him not realizing that i've disappeared, and then after a couple of months he gets kind of curious, so, umm, he has to, o h m y g o d, he has to actuallly . . . call ME.
although - this time around he had to track me down. he didn't know my new number or even really where i was. this means he had to actually call my MOM to figure all of this out.
oh how horrible it must be for him...............................................................no.
never does he realize that i do these things on purpose. the fact that i didn't call him for two months means absolutely nothing to him, and if it does, i'd be shocked to know it 'cos he sure has a funny way of showing these things.
i w i l l call him tomorrow, and i w i l l n o t be surprised to find that he isn't the least upset with any of this - not knowing where i am, not knowing my phone number. he'll act as if he had just spoken with me the day before.
vicious circle.
me and my dad.

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on a much better note, i went for a walk with keith tonight around our new neighborhood.
it's sooo beautiful, and it makes me proud to live here.

1:13 a.m. - 2001-08-07

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