space-oddity's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- at home somewhere along the way i learned not to have things such as feelings and opinions and a personality at [home], a city hundreds of miles away. but really, is that home anymore? no. like a lot of people, i'm a stranger in my own family, and that is fine. that is how i made it. if i died tomorrow, people would come up to my family at the funeral. they'd say things, and the family would go, "hey, that's news to us." not that i'm secretly a porn star posing as a librarian or that i lead anything like an exciting double life, i'm just not who they think i am because they simply wouldn't be comfortable with the truth. sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the sake of peace. most of the time i just end up hiding in another city. it's easier that way. i was thinking about how i used to ride in the back of my dad's truck with my uncles and aunts. i was probably three years old. i was thinking about how they all made it sound like it would be really fun, but once we started going fast, my hair would whip back into my face from the force of the wind, and then it wouldn't be so much fun anymore. hundreds of tiny little smacks on my soft little cheeks, one right after the other, and i'd just kind of grin and bare it, eyes watering. gee golly wizz, that was fun. 2:06 am - 01.09.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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