space-oddity's Diaryland Diary

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not fit for work

err. work was both tiresome and weird today. the video store is supposed to be my non-job job, a place where i just kind of hang out for a few hours and get paid. nothing serious. i mean, c'mon, i only work there two days out of the week. it's not a real job. my other crap-ola job is the real job. the problem with the video store is that i've been there so long that i know how to do pretty much everything. let's not forget i managed a video store last summer. yeck. so the boss-man's all "do this," and, "do this," and, "don't forget to this." c'mon, man. i just want to lean on the counter and stuff like all the other slackers that work nightshift. i like to help out and all, but i'm working my fingers to the bone. to the bone. i'm tired and cranky all the time, and i think clay is getting frustrated with my constant stale attitude. i'm such a drag. really. all i want to do in my spare time is sit on the couch and crochet with the t.v. on and zone out. the apartment IS A MESS. i've totally gone off cleaning. i'm just too tired at the end of the day. tired and lazy. the jobs are sucking the essence from me. they're the skekses.

and of course, if i wanted to make the smart and sensible move, i'd quit at least one of my jobs, but, no. it's not that i enjoy having something to complain about, but it's more like i've become accustomed to a certain amount of income. i remember how poor i was just a year and a half ago. actually, i'm still poor, but not as poor. anyway, i just don't want to have to live like that again. i'm able to pay cash for everything and clear my debts with the two jobs i have, and that makes me feel good about things for a little while, and then i start thinking about just how crappy those two jobs are, and i get all grouchy and depressed all over again. o bah. damn the money!

/rant

i'm listening to ivy. i want my life to be like the way their music sounds. not necessarily happy, just a little neater and sophisticated with my hair blowing in the wind.

3:39 am - 03.19.03

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