space-oddity's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- killing ralph fiennes so i know what i've said before. i hate it when people go off on a tangent, blabbing on and on about their dreams, but something awful just happened. i had to wake up at the crack of dawn this morning to take clay to work. i figured that when i returned to the apartment, i'd be able to go back to sleep for a few more hours. i plopped in front of the tv. waiting for sleep to come, and of course it never did. i waited some more. finally, i got tired of waiting, so i popped in sense & sensibility, you know, with emma thompson. this movie never fails. it's not that i find it incredibly boring or anything. it just kind of calms me down. i have a list of movies that i use for this purpose, but i'll save that for later. anywho, i finally went to sleep. the next thing i know, i'm whacking ralph fiennes over the head with a blunt object. i had murdered him. now i don't know why i did it, but i remember that afterwards i had been filled with extreme elation. clay was there, too, and after i finished killing mr. fiennes, we had to figure out what to do with the body. i wrapped him up in a clear plastic shower curtain, the exact one that hangs in our bathroom. his face was all smushed behind the tightly wrapped plastic. i remember he was very heavy. i've never had to move a grown human body before, but i remember this feeling very realistic, and i couldn't have done it without clay's help. we left him in the bathtub, and we went into the next room to discuss where to dump the body. so far the dream had been very linear, very much unlike my usual dreams where shit just happens without one thing relating to another. here is where i started to shift in and out of sleep. i opened my eyes and saw the movie playing on the television but was afraid to wake up because i thought the killing was real, and i wanted to escape, but when i'd go back to sleep it was still happening. i don't know how long i went back and forth like this, but it seemed like forever. clay kept coming up with all of these ridiculous ways to get rid of the body. he suggested we put the body in the crawl space of the house, or dump it in a parking lot. then i started going off about fingerprints and how forensic scientists could dust for prints on the body. we'd have to scrub him down before we dumped him. clay suggested we drive him to the ocean and throw him off a cliff, and i brought up the young pregnant woman who was just found with her baby washed up from the sea. meanwhile it was a race to figure this out because we had a decomposing dead body in our bathroom. we kept saying stuff like, "we have to dump him somewhere before the stench fills up the house!" and then everybody in the entire town felt they had to come over at this precise time. mark stopped by. i remember the sweat rolling down my forehead. he was like, "hey, can i use the bathroom?" "NO." it was all so fucking strange. finally we got everyone out, but the weird, and i guess comical, part of it is that clay told a couple of people we had killed ralph fiennes and that his dead body was in our bathtub. people were like, "ooh. i won't tell. i promise," and then i'd take clay off to the side and yell at him for being so stupid, and he'd say something like, "trust me, they won't tell. they even said they'd help us get rid of the body." and then i'd say something like, "if you tell just one person, they're gonna tell someone, and then that someone is gonna tell someone, AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO ON!!!" i was getting very angry at this point. just losing my mind. we went back to strategizing about the body. the whole time i kept thinking of a meat grinder, and this is where i got sick. i thought the best solution was to buy a meat grinder and a freezer. we'd grind the entire body, clothes and all, and put it all into zip-lock bags. we'd keep them in the freezer, and slowly we'd throw each bag out with the garbage every week, until it was entirely gone. the body finally started to stink, and then i woke up. my cat was meowing and kneading on my chest. i'm sorry this was so disgusting. i know i should have written something proper and nice and all, seeing that i haven't written in a long time. there just hasn't been much that i've actually wanted to document. i'm still trying to be healthy by exercising everyday and eating right. clay and i have planned another trip to dollywood [hur hur!]. we're going for free again, like we'd actually pay. my work is sponsoring the trip. anyhow, i'm looking for a new job. got any suggestions? 2:05 pm - 04.15.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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