space-oddity's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- crumbling i just talked with my mom for over an hour. she was trying to persuade me that things would be much better for me if i'd just pick up and move in with her. picking up means putting all of my shit into storage and flying my ass out into the middle of the ocean. i don't know what i'm supposed to do. i'm about to sign a lease to an apartment, and this will keep me here for at least another six months. also, i've committed myself to a semester of school that i'm not entirely sure about. all the while, i'm stuck in a dead-end job that i hate because, hey, the insurance plan is nice. .. and for the first time in a long, long while, i'm completely alone in this. good god, what am i doing to myself, and why am i not happy with a single fucking thing??? really, what does it take.. and why can't i get any decent sleep... i lie to myself too much, and i'm constantly pretending that i've got my shit together. it's fake, folks. all fake. here is me crumbling. look at her fall. right now i just want to go to bed because surely tomorrow will be better. i need the voice of reason to come and give me a great swift kick in the face. i am twenty-two years old. 1:34 am - 07.22.03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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